discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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