3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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