Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
