You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
