I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
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He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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