There is no way he is gay with that hair.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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