I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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