my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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