so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
