I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize