yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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