sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
