those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
