So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?