eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.