i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.