Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"

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(702): i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower" http://tfl.nu/j2hm

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(443): View more from Maryland

when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her

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(443): when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her http://tfl.nu/gfqm

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(678): View more from Georgia

xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life

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(678): xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life http://tfl.nu/zerk

Replies (23) Good night (795) Bad night (2970) Order T-Shirt
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(718): View more from New York

i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.

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(718): i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined. http://tfl.nu/aopw

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(415): View more from California

worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

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(415): worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser. http://tfl.nu/daye

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(903): View more from Texas

I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.

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(903): I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron. http://tfl.nu/xifm

Replies (4) Good night (2011) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!

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(724): who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?! http://tfl.nu/teth

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(513): View more from Ohio

it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.

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(513): it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out. http://tfl.nu/ydh3

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(812): View more from Indiana

Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.

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(812): Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life. http://tfl.nu/sryf

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.

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(402): I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign. http://tfl.nu/14vr

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof

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(412): I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof http://tfl.nu/k401

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Breakfast tacos?

(1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS

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(832): Breakfast tacos? (1-832): YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS http://tfl.nu/haxw

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(301): View more from Maryland

His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.

(1-301): View more from Maryland

I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.

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(301): His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy. (1-301): I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok. http://tfl.nu/z40b

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(323): View more from California

The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.

(323): View more from California

Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in

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(323): The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god. (323): Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in http://tfl.nu/1gsf

Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (219)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.

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(780): Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house. http://tfl.nu/7s2y

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