Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
