I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night