on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket