that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN