So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my being single is dangerous.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...