we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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