I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!