Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

OMG. Drunk.

(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.

(718): View more from New York

Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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(512): View more from Texas

Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...

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(501): View more from Arkansas

recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight

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(812): View more from Indiana

You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.

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(317): View more from Indiana

So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.

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(214): View more from Texas

So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.

(512): View more from Texas

I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.

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