you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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