i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
