Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
