jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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