Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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