Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Randomize
