That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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