I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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