am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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