I should be sponsored by Trojan
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
