what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
