what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
