I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
