dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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