Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
