Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
