She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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