Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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