You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
