I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
