Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
