There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
