??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
