i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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