she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
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So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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