so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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