Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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