no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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