butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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