two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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