Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
