I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
