Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish you could order shots online.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My ass is underappreciated
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
