Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
