So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
