i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
