My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
