Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
