So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
