i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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