My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
