conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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