I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
