No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
