White coat. Heels.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
